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I wonder why criticizing others has been part of our daily life when we ourselves hate being criticized. When does one earn the right to criticize others? And is there really such a thing as “constructive criticisms”? How can that thing which most people loathe be constructive when all it does is point what’s bad in what you think you do best in life?
Endless questions and no exact answers…
Yesterday, my dad and I were practicing the songs that I would render on Carleen’s upcoming wedding. I was having a little difficulty in hitting the exact notes for the song, “Now that I have You” while my dad also was having a hard time perfecting the chords, yet he’s pointing it out to me that the notes I was hitting are just not it. In my mind, I have this thing going on, “why don’t you perfect those chords first and I’ll take care of the notes?” but I know that it wouldn’t really help any bit. I also had this gut feeling that the notes I was hitting were really correct as I’ve listened to that song several times already. But then, who am I to say such a thing to my dad? I’m just an imperfect lacking with experience singer while he’s been a musician for ages. When I was nearing frustration, I headed for the stairs and listened to the song myself again. And again, I was right. I was really hitting the right notes all along and yet my dad is telling me otherwise. I came to him and asked him that we listen to it again. He agreed.
The song’s original key is at Ab. Since it’s already been settled that I don’t have a good low-notes register, I requested that the song’s key be transposed to one key higher at least. And my dad said ok to it. However, the notes he’s instructing me to hit for the chorus are just not it. I know. I really know. So when we listened again, I tried to make him see my point. I came to him with no expectations, so even though I know that I was right, it still surprised me that I really was right all along. He stood corrected and for the first time, I felt different about this whole thing.
Now it put me into thinking why we, people have made criticism an everyday habit when we ourselves are threatened of others’ criticisms about us. Wouldn’t it be much fairer if we just mind our own business and just be happy for others’ successes in life? Or would that be too unrealistic and too out-of-this-world? Since no one is perfect, isn’t criticism just rubbing it in the fact that we would never be perfect? And if one needs to be perfect first before he could criticize others of their wrong doings, then there should be no criticism at all flying around because nobody is perfect and will ever be perfect.
While I’m contemplating on this argument in my head, the Lord’s message about judging the sinners in the book of John came to me. Let me quote a few verses from the book of John, KJV Bible:
8:1 Jesus went unto the Mount of Olives.
8:2 And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.
8:3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
8:4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
8:5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
8:6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
8:7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
Now that is a rude awakening!
Hear me out; if there really is such a thing as constructive criticism, I just hope it really would help the person it would be casted at. Maybe criticisms are not really about the “perfect bullying the imperfect ones”. Maybe it’s really all about helping others see that there is always a spacious room for improvement. After all, it’s also in the Bible that open rebuke is better than secret love. I just hope that although we can no longer remove the fact that we are an everyday critic, I hope that it will be for a divine purpose and not just for the sake of criticism itself.
I know I didn’t end up with a good conclusion today. Blame it to my still mystified psyche.
This has been me again, saying that with an open mind and heart, I know we could make even the most insulting and mortifying criticism we receive every day, a key to our progress. Until next time, same room…
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